Hi, For the first time ever! 

I so so wanted to do this, to share my writing and what goes in my head with, talk to a forum, let my opinions be known and also listen to what others have to say. Write to my heart’s content and have people to share it with but not just any people. I want those people who share the same thoughts, who carry the same love and passion for writing, reading 📖 and so on. The people that I can call come from my side of the world. Where we are active beings and whose writing can make a difference in a good way. Where we understand each others Art. 

PS : This blog is solely for entertainment purpose only. Stay Blessed All. 
~ gulliena ❤️ 


Featured post

I don’t wanna sound ungrateful but I am going through a very hard time in my life. I have never felt more hurt and nobody has ever harmed me this much but my husband. We fail to recognise people for who they are when we first discover something about them that isn’t normal. We tell ourselves that there might have been a mistake. NOOO! Never ignore that tiny little pointer! Because that is God’s way of telling you where you are headed. 
I made a terrible terrible mistake of doing that. Now, when I count, there had been gazillion pointers that I missed on purpose, because I didn’t want to come out of my bubble and trouble myself by thinking of getting myself out of that person’s circle. To hell with what the consequences would be. 

Breastfeeding 🤱 

Omg. I am very stressed and depressed and tired and what not? 

I think I have failed in being a good mom to my second lil one. This is so sad. I haven’t been breastfeeding her frequently and because I am on a diet and want to lose weight and had been going to the gym and all the crap reasons one could think of. So, all of this has made my milk supply go down and its no more flowing and active and like it used to be which makes me be full of guilt and the feeling of failure and so on. 

I cry and feel bad and keep on praying to god that please make the milk come naturally back to me as a sort of miracle or something. I am failing so bad. Maybe its my lesson. 

Some days and some dates have a total different meaning to us.  Like today    

Brain 🧠 

My theory about sleep is that when you don’t have enough energy and subjects to think upon, you fall asleep. Simply, if you do not give your brain the rest it needs and you keep it working while you’re awake or even when you sleep, you’ll be exhausted both ways. 

And sometimes you are so awake as in, you keep thinking about things around and about that you find sleep hard. At once you want to achieve so much and you want so much to be done so quickly that you just want it to go your way right away. 

This happens with me alot and more so lately. I want to get somewhere in life. The more ups and downs I face, each time I think yes I am definitely right thinking that life can not be like it is. That there has to be a goal that i need to achieve. I need to study and grow my knowledge and have some skill, some talent, something to which i can turn to if i feel like. That if god forbid, there comes a bad time in my life I am able to hold my self up through it. No. It is not about facing bad times in life, but i want to be something someone better. I want to be educated. I crave the knowledge, the empowerment that women can get through being educated. Not that i am a total waste right now. No, i do have sense of right and wrong And awareness also but I need more.   It’s like I can’t explain. It’s like a rebellion within my own self. Of proving myself not to anybody but me myself. Of being able to be myself, follow my dreams and be able to tell myself that I knew that I had the capability. Of being a better, more intellectual person than I am today. 

Just a little note 

Just when you think everything – the world is going to end and then it doesn’t. Life gives us situations where we freak out and things are falling apart and you try to straighten things as much as you can and you want to catch whatever parts of it are falling and trying to join them so that you save it before its too late while your world is at stake. 

Well, past Sunday something like that happened. I believe ending things and relationships is so easy at such times but holding things together so unbearably painful and challengingly difficult. Really, if I hadn’t listen to my father and mother that day, I don’t know where things would have gone today or should I say that I know where things would have been like. Because as much as I have seen life, sometimes it’s not that we don’t understand other people but that we don’t want to understand them. On my parent’s insistence i put aside my ego that day (Tuesday night) and went home. It felt worse than you can imagine at that time but now at this moment I want to thank my parents immensely for guiding me to what was right. My home is safe because of them. My husband has gone to turkey and cyprus (on 6 oct 2018) with three of his friends (A, A & R).  And I am happily staying at Mom’s and I am at peace today as I plan to sleep now that it’s 5:49 am and I am exhausted by looking after my children and now that I have finally put my older one to sleep. I know, I know readers, that it’s so late and don’t freak out, but that’s how it is with him and his sleep timings. 

I hope whoever is reading this is happy and has their hearts full of hope and peace. That they believe that the divine power that  can hold up this universe together can also put things right in our life. 

~ love, gulliena. 

So about how my life is goin on 

If I analyse how i am doing with two kids and a hubby and be fair in my judgement ? Lemme share the good news, i am doing pretty well. 

I love both of my babies and do a fine job of giving them enough attention. Also i get depressed postpartum stuff and all and i cry in my low times but right now, today, in this moment, i feel like a proud mother of two and quite successful but not so much. I am being a good mother but not doing so well as a wife. Well, my husband it seems is not so happy with me. We had huge argument two days back. But i feel it’s ok since its past and I wasn’t the one who was wrong. 

My strategy has been to love both children so much at all times even when I’d like to scream out of frustration or fatigue because it’s a very tiring job. Because if i control myself in those moments I don’t torment my self later and take on the burden of guilt and feel like a failure for shouting at my kids who are like angels to me; so innocent and sweet like flowers. I love love my son and daughter more more and more with each passing breath and they mean the world to me. 

Today was second eid ul adha 1439. 

23 august 2018 Thursday. 

New Beginnings ~<3

Hey to all of you out there! Today I am writing after ages and glad am I to share that 6 days back, I gave birth to my 2nd baby, it’s a girl!

Life Update 

Hi all, gulliena here. So a lot went on that you aren’t aware of, that i haven’t updated you with and it’s been a while. 

We just came back from our US trip on Thursday and it was wonderful and disastrous all at the same time. But it would be a lie if i would say we didn’t have fun. It’s such a lovely place. More than that, I loved the people there. They are so nice and loving and always are willing to help. We saw a lot of things that I had only heard of in movies and it was all together an amazing experience. I met my sis who came all the way from Toronto canada to buffalo, Niagra Falls and i got so happy. It was an eighteen days trip and we went to Newyork, Buffalo Niagara Falls, Orlando Florida, Miami, LasVegas and then Los Angeles. 

When Bestfriends Drift Apart </3

You know the other day, i was thinking of school days and the friendships that I had. I miss my best friend from those days so much. But in the last year of school we drift apart so bad there was no getting back and i had no say in it. Like, because of her falling grades she was told by her parents to just not indulge in any friendships or activities and surprisingly she listened to them. She chose to not be friends with me anymore and the rest was the same. I was devastated. Our friendship meant so much to me. I could do anything to save it. To this day i miss my best friend from those days cuz i haven’t been able to come across another person who would be my bff. I don’t want her back specifically because I don’t like the person she has become but the friend that i had in her during 7th to 10th grade. In life, we need friends really! Cuz there are things you can’t tell a family member, you can’t share it with our moms, husbands or just anybody. But if you have a friend, it makes life so much better. You can just say what you want, what you feel like and everything will be dumped out of your system and you can vent your heart out and everything will be fine later and then you can just relax having shared your stories with someone reliable and someone who you know wouldn’t let you down ever and vice-versa. 
Have you had to go through such a time? People think that break-ups make you feel all of that related to heartbreak but when best friends drift apart it’s even worse i think. 

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