Hi, For the first time ever! 

I so so wanted to do this, to share my writing and what goes in my head with, talk to a forum, let my opinions be known and also listen to what others have to say. Write to my heart’s content and have people to share it with but not just any people. I want those people who share the same thoughts, who carry the same love and passion for writing, reading 📖 and so on. The people that I can call come from my side of the world. Where we are active beings and whose writing can make a difference in a good way. Where we understand each others Art. 

PS : This blog is solely for entertainment purpose only. Stay Blessed All. 
~ gulliena ❤️ 

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Life Update 

Hi all, gulliena here. So a lot went on that you aren’t aware of, that i haven’t updated you with and it’s been a while. 

We just came back from our US trip on Thursday and it was wonderful and disastrous all at the same time. But it would be a lie if i would say we didn’t have fun. It’s such a lovely place. More than that, I loved the people there. They are so nice and loving and always are willing to help. We saw a lot of things that I had only heard of in movies and it was all together an amazing experience. I met my sis who came all the way from Toronto canada to buffalo, Niagra Falls and i got so happy. It was an eighteen days trip and we went to Newyork, Buffalo Niagara Falls, Orlando Florida, Miami, LasVegas and then Los Angeles. 

When Bestfriends Drift Apart </3

You know the other day, i was thinking of school days and the friendships that I had. I miss my best friend from those days so much. But in the last year of school we drift apart so bad there was no getting back and i had no say in it. Like, because of her falling grades she was told by her parents to just not indulge in any friendships or activities and surprisingly she listened to them. She chose to not be friends with me anymore and the rest was the same. I was devastated. Our friendship meant so much to me. I could do anything to save it. To this day i miss my best friend from those days cuz i haven’t been able to come across another person who would be my bff. I don’t want her back specifically because I don’t like the person she has become but the friend that i had in her during 7th to 10th grade. In life, we need friends really! Cuz there are things you can’t tell a family member, you can’t share it with our moms, husbands or just anybody. But if you have a friend, it makes life so much better. You can just say what you want, what you feel like and everything will be dumped out of your system and you can vent your heart out and everything will be fine later and then you can just relax having shared your stories with someone reliable and someone who you know wouldn’t let you down ever and vice-versa. 
Have you had to go through such a time? People think that break-ups make you feel all of that related to heartbreak but when best friends drift apart it’s even worse i think. 

Guilty

I feel so small and shallow at the moment. I feel so bad and guilty. I have absolutely nothing in control. I can’t control my rising temper and it’s so bad. I just screamed at my son for the first time ever and I feel like the worst mom ever. And now he’s asleep and i need some kind of assurance that he’s ok and if he still loves me and that he’s not going to think of me as a bad mom. I mean some of it might sound absurd to many of you but to me it matters a million trillion times. 

It’s not fair when parents do that. Children are supposed to annoy you and get you angry but as parents we should be patient and show them love and find humour in their antics. Its not his fault that I an having another baby and experiencing worse kinds of mood swings. That is what makes me so nervous about this whole situation whether I am cut out for this or not. If i can give enough love to both of my babies the best way or not, if i am able to not neglect anyone of them and nail this thing. 

My heart really goes out for my son. I feel really bad and guilty that i am going to have another baby so soon and whether it’s negligence or what. Because I planned to give him so much love, all the love I could and I am not so sure that if this is going to be good for him or bad. 

Crazy Way To Go. 

This was pretty unplanned and by unplanned, i mean, very very out of the way of being planned. It might sound crazy but really, I never ever thought that i’d be expecting again anytime so soon and it was such a blow to me, for a while I thought that the whole thing would fade away. Just when I was getting somewhere in my life as in, in relationship with my husband, was getting to know motherhood better and thinking that I can handle it well, just when my first baby started to get set in his routine and finally was getting close to sleeping well through the nights with less nursing sessions than before.. I GET PREGNANT. 

It was a big blow for me, I couldn’t handle it. I cried and prayed that it wouldn’t be the truth for sometime but than learnt to accept it as it is by God’s will. It’s a blessing and so many people and couples out there are trying and not being able to get it, so I should be thankful. Now I am mostly and I really think that maybe I’ll be able to get it right this time also. I was very happy with my only child and sometimes feel that it might be unfair to him but then maybe pife will become much more enjoyable and fun with two. If one can bring so much goodness and happiness then two would be way to go.! 

I just hope things go in the right direction InshaAllah. And thankyou Allah. 

Have you been through such times? Do you think that it’s ok to have the second baby with a one year gap between the first and second ? 

Lost my brush pouch! *major heart attack* 

OMG 😮 

I didn’t know where my lovely MAC makeup pouch is in which i kept all my branded, high-end makeup brushes !! 

And I’m venting you know. Imagine how much that pouch was worth.. it contained six brushes from mac, one set of brushes from tarte that I simply fell in love with 💔 ( the back to school tools brush set in case you wanna know and it’s amazing and worth every penny! ) and all of the brushes i LOVED!😩 and I’m emptying every drawer i own and every bag i use to check. 

What if I lose it foreverrr ? *faints* 

Write and share your thoughts and stories. 

The absence of Heart ❣ 

Today something disastrous happened to me. And it was heartbreaking and shocking. It disturbed me more than I can tell you. I am really worried and sad but what worries me even more is how i felt the emptiness of my heartbreak. Like, before today i used to feel how heartbroken and all it was but this time there was everything except that I didn’t feel the pain from the heart directly. I was worried by the absence of it like I felt numb from there. 

Does it make sense?

Hi-a 

People, I really need to know if it’s normal to not be able to get time for yourself at all when you have a baby and a some what shattering room to take care-of. My husband is really annoyed with me, all the time giving me lectures about not taking care in making things perfect and how I am so useless these days. Not getting things right. Not getting fit and slim, not making my room sparkly clean, not doing things that he wants like he asks me to. I don’t know if there is something wrong with me or if it’s him asking too much of me. 

He even gets angry when my baby gets a bit of a cough or if my baby cries or gets irritated and I don’t have a clue about what the baby is getting so cranky about. I get humiliated and depressed and I cry alot. Today all of it got to my nerves so much that I tried to knock myself out by suffocating myself. It really is just too much sometimes. I don’t know if there’s a problem with me really because I hardly go to the bathroom the whole day because I’m so much here and there doing this and that and taking care of the baby, I miss my prayers often because I lose time doing things. So today I thought that there is only one God who would know how I feel and who would understand what I’m going through every day and not taking care of my pray time would only get me in trouble with Him also. So if I want one thing to not crumble and that’s my relationship with Allah (God) then I must pray to please him atleast. So that when I am clueless and lost of where I am going or where I am headers to in life there’ll be atleast Him, Allah, to cling to, which will keep my spirits high. 

Addiction to Tea 💔

It breaks my heart to finally let myself know that I am more than how much i’d like, am very much addicted to tea. Tea. 

Oh why? It seems like when I don’t have it, my head starts to ache and it hurts more than anything. 

Are you addicted to tea or coffee ? Or whatelse? 

Leave your comments and likes and do tell of your heartbreaking addictive item. It can be anything or even person. 

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